Friday, October 06, 2006

My personality

To understand this graph better it'd be worth visiting the full report!

I don't believe the agreeableness rating quite reflects me but's an online test! Sadly, however, the neuroticism rating probably does...

My Personality
Openness To Experience
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MySpace Layouts, student loan consolidation and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Change don't come easy

It's a couple of weeks after my birthday and I'm in a reflective mood as I sit listening to the soulful voice of John Legend. I realise how life has just kinda crept up on me with its changes over the last couple of years. I'm in a loving relationship. I have finished a Masters. I've lost a few kilos. I have a new job which requires me to address a bunch of well-known people .

Some of the changes, however, are tinged with sadness. My family is aging: my parents are slowing down and my brother leaves for the sunny north of our fair country to live with his girlfriend and make a life there. That means no more silly jokes, big bear hugs, no more joint rolling of eyes over our parent's reactions. Generally, no little brother around who is generous and caring who looks up to me (figuratively, of course - he's a good 9 inches taller than me!). During this week my family will have its final night together as just the four of us before he disappears northwards.

At 27 that should be no surprise but it doesn't mean it doesn't feel strange. Change don't come easy (thanks Mr Legend – those lyrics kicked in at the right time).

A couple of years ago I couldn't have foreseen any of the changes I've mentioned. More changes are on their way, just around the corner...moving out and braces off, at the very least. Ooo surprises ahead...don't you just love that?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Always changing

The ups and downs of life are what makes living interesting. As my coworker would say "we live in interesting times".

I've had my recent health issues, which - touch wood - seem to be settling down. Now my naturopath is aiming to build me up a bit which can't hurt. A bit of effort will be involved here for this chocolate and cheese loving gal, but I'll keep at it. It would be a shame to see all those kilos lost creep their way back on to that already generous bottom of mine.

Work, well, it's not a dream by any stretch of the imagination with the people hard to take in some regards and the organisation a little slow-moving in others. The politics isn't my cup of tea either. Nevertheless, throughout the course of the day I realised I need to be a little more patient. Sometimes I expect everything just to fall into place like it did in my last job. It's the same with relationships. Sometimes it takes time and a little adjustment before they work well. So, I'll give it some time and see if I can make something of this crazy little job of mine and also whether I can get something out of the organisation so far as experience is concerned. That's not to say I'm not open to other opportunities but I'm not dismissing the one I'm having now as unproductive. I mean I've spoken to a famous sportsman, gained products for an event, liased with venues etc. within the last week among other things. It's got its value in the bigger picture.

Next in line for a revamp will be my personal life, which is a bit of a shambles at the moment for various reasons. I don't really have a home because I live between two places and work. Haven't really spent much time with family or friends recently. Some stability and regularity to be able to do some things by/for myself would be great. But plans are in the offing for that and once things settle a bit at work (*laughs*) I should be ok.

Speaking of time to myself - I feel a long hot shower coming on followed by some mindless Footy Show.

Catch you on the flip side.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Crisis of Confidence

At the moment I'm filled with so much self doubt that I don't know how I manage to make the decision to get out of bed in the mornings. I am questioning so much of where I am in my life right now. 10 years ago, I hoped and dreamed much more for myself. Disillusioned and paralysed is a lot of what I'm feeling now. It's almost like I've forgotten those dreams and am trapped in a whole other place.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be possible for someone like me to just let go and have things happen or become so full of bravado that nothing scares me or puts me off. What does it take to become that person? Despite my apparent pessimism, I'd like to think that anything's possible with a little hard work.

I keep going over and over the things that are enforcing the crisis of confidence. Am I in the right organisation? Are my skills being used to full effect? Am I trying to be something I'm not designed to be? Am I handling my family/friends/partner in a manner which will serve us all well? Am I eating properly? Do I do enough at home/work? Am I ever going to feel free and happy?

I'm sitting here wondering if this is the life I want and how do I go about changing it for the better?

Anyone done anything life changing recently which might inspire me to get the ball rolling?

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Finding happiness

The last 6 months or so I've tripped from one medical condition to another. Varying forms of infections, the recent diagnosis of tiny kidney stone, a very bad cold that came with a nasty cough which has lingered for too long. Then today I woke up with a serious stomach upset of some sort which has meant I've become all too familiar with a string of close-to-hand (close-to-bottom?) toilets. It's also a sad day because I ended my five year record of not vomiting (which, mind you, is a personal best).

On top of this, the other day I also made the difficult decision to come off a tablet that was fixing symptoms of one thing but causing a series of other undesirable side effects. It's only a matter of time before I am reminded whether the side effect or the condition is worse.

All in all, this time of my life has been physically quite miserable. In turn, I have not been having a great deal of fun, instead, spending more time in bed resting than I would ever normally want or need.

Through all this, I can be grateful for one thing, and that's my beloved Leif. The Min he met with a spring in her step has slowed down quite a bit over recent months, and he has held my hand through a number of sick Min experiences. All the while, he has been an absolute gem in showing his love and support. This is despite episodes of me turning purple from coughing, or wearing those unflattering hospital gowns under fluorescent lighting or as I grip his thigh as the pain in my stomach becomes overwhelming. While it hasn't been a wonderful time for me by any stretch of the imagination, I fully acknowledge this hasn't been much fun for him either. So, I wanted to say a public thank you to my Leif because without him this might be one of the most isolating experiences of my life and even more depressing without his love.

It may be said, however, that once I come out of this sick period of my life (and I remain positive that I will) that I am on the journey towards happiness. I believe the cliche may well be true - that without some rain in our lives it's hard to enjoy the sunshine. I expect to positively revel in that sunshine when it comes, and it will.

Thanks again to my beloved (you know I want to get better for the both of us) and I hope to come back to my blog healthier and with renewed strength.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

News on the job front

Well...I've been waiting until I received the official word, and yesterday the contracts for my new job arrived. After about a month of serious looking, applying, interviews and rejections, I have a job!!

I will be starting in a couple of weeks with the MS Society working in their events area. The less fantastic aspects are: they are based out in Blackburn and the pay is by no means great. Nevertheless, I am very pleased to have found a job in the event industry (although - as usual - during the interview they asked why I hadn't pursued the more lucrative kinds of jobs I could have gone into with my undergrad degree).

It sounds like there will be room for progression but I am happy to start at the bottom and get a bit of experience under my belt. Also, from what I can tell, the lady I will be working with seems very friendly and sensible. Fingers crossed this will be a good start to my event management career.

If it's good enough for them...

Another visit to the doctor. As I was in the waiting room, who should I see come out of another doctor's room? Mr Geoffrey Rush. Well, at least it looked like him - and I'm very good with faces. Anyway, he looked at me and, taken aback by surprise, I turned away quickly.

He milled about a bit waiting to pay, then left and I went in to see my doctor. The usual business there. Talking over my symptoms followed by internal exam (yawn...) As I was lying on the examination table I asked the doctor if I had been mistaken in thinking it were Mr Rush in the surgery. As it turns out, I was not mistaken. The doctor told me they get a number of (TV) stars through their surgery.

So, if the level of care at this surgery is good enough for the stars, I guess it'll have to be good enough for me.

Meanwhile, I wonder if I got the particularly grumpy pathology nurse today? She started by complaining about her 9 year old son, then (perhaps still destracted by what she'd like to do with her troublesome son) she virtually stabbed the needle into my arm to collect that precious life force aka blood. She also didn't do the usual reminder not to lift anything heavy etc afterwards. Luckily, this being my 3rd blood test in as many weeks I know the drill!

Monday, April 17, 2006


19 out of 90 - so I definitely don't think so.

More than 40 and you're spoiled. Things-wise I'm fairly low maintenance. Mind you, it might be nice to be a little more spoiled. That said, I'd prefer great health to anything in that list.

(x) your own cell phone
( ) a tv in your bedroom
( ) an ipod
( ) a photo printer
( ) your own phone line
( ) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
( ) high-speed internet access
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
( ) dvd player in bedroom
( ) at least a hundred DVDs
(x) a childfree bathroom
( ) your own in-house office
( ) a pool (spa)
( ) a guest house
( ) a game room
(x) a queen-size bed or larger
( ) a stocked bar
(x) a working dishwasher
( ) an icemaker
( ) a working washing machine and dryer
( ) more than 20 pairs of shoes
( ) at least ten things from a designer store
( ) expensive sunglasses
( ) framed authentic art - I painted it...
( ) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
(x) a multi-speed bike
( ) a gym membership
( ) large exercise equipment at home
( ) your own set of golf clubs
( ) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
( ) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
( ) your own pair of skis
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
( ) a neighborhood committee membership
( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
( ) wealthy family members
( ) two or more family cars
(x) a walk-in closet or pantry
(x) a yard
( ) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
(x) good credit
( ) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
( ) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
(x) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
( ) a stock portfolio
(x) a passport
( ) a horse
( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
(x) private medical insurance
(x) a college degree, but no student loans
Do you:
( ) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
( ) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
( ) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning)
( ) go on weekend mini-vacations
( ) send dinners back with every flaw
(x) wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
( ) have a job but don't need the money OR
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals -- not counting McDonalds?
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner

Are you:
( ) an only child
( ) married/partnered to a weathly person
( ) baffled/surprised when you don't get your way

Have you:
( ) been on a cruise
(x) traveled out of the country
( ) met a celebrity
( ) been to the carribean
(x) been to europe
( ) been to hawaii
(x) been to new york
( ) eaten at the space needle in seattle
( ) been to mall of america
( ) been on the eiffel tower in paris
( ) been on the statue of liberty in new york
( ) moved more than three times because you wanted to
( ) dined with local political figures
(x) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast (in any country)

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
(x) take riding or swimming lessons as a child
(x) attend private school
( ) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you